Life · The Pit

There was a hole down there…

I’m about as good at typing on my phone as Mr. Mango is on a real keyboard, so this little update is slightly overdue. It’s not that I haven’t been able to meagerly communicate otherwise, but sitting upright and straight is probably the least comfortable position possible, and there’s no way I can get my wrists to type while I’m on my side, stomach or back (and no way I have the patience to finger poke each individual key… that all was used up on the tots spring break).

While I was trying to hold myself together while Mr. Mango was away, apparently my bowels had a different idea. Between when my MIL left and he came back home last week I thought I had developed a bad case of food poisoning, but as it turns out it was a whole eating through a lower portion of my intestinal tract. Not the first thing I would have assumed based on the symptoms (lupus already causes random fevers and I already have so many sporadic digestive troubles, it’s really hard to tell what’s ‘real’ and what’s ‘deal-able’). I could fake fine for his mother, but now that he was back, it was clear that this was more than I could or should handle.

As it turned out, I should have fucking gotten his mother to take me to the hospital a week before. By the time the Mr. brought me there and I was checked out, my gut was busy closing up it’s own small hole, probably eased due to the face that I thought I had food poisoning and was living off liquids again. In any case I had miraculously walked and talked through “the danger zone” and now just needed to heal and prevent infection.

An antibiotic cocktail, bowel rest and expressed instructions to take it easy and then home finally the 5 of us all were.

So, that’s how it’s been. I guess the healing process hurts more than the actual hole being in the side of my large intestine. I’m not going to lie, the fact that I’m not even sure what symptoms I could separate from the usual to pin point if this sort of thing is happening again is frustrating. My anxiety is rampant and I’m not in my usual ‘research mode’ like after most every other change in symptoms or diagnosis.

I’m just tired….and a little worried I’m not more relieved that everything worked out OK. I know I got really lucky. It of course brings up a crap load (ugh..) of questions about cause and long term treatments since APPARENTLY my scopes came back “clean”.

 

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