Life

Step Five: the final step, get my butt to the hospital!

Yesterday felt like a long ass day. It was cloudy, cold and I was cramped inside doing practically nothing but chugging cup after cup of clear liquid over and over again. That being said, it could have been a whole lot worse. The Pico-Salax wasn’t hard to take (at least compared to other high volume preps) and didn’t taste horrible. Nestle’s ‘Splash’ flavored bottled water made it much easier to enjoy getting quite a bit of H20 down (the Acai Grape is my favorite). Enjoying some savory chicken or beef broth during ‘meal’ times or sipping on coffee and tea throughout the day also made it a little easier since that felt…well normal.

As for the time in the bathroom? I guess that could have been worse too… I was expecting the worst of the flu combined with IBS and whatever mystery issue (they’re checking for Crohn’s disease) is going on, but it wasn’t. Turns out my body can put itself through much much worse than any laxative or purgative can. I’d assume that for someone taking it for a regular screening or who doesn’t already have an Evil Gut Syndrome you may experience something similar to mild food poisoning feeling. An urgency to go…and often, but at least in my case, not glued to the toilet for hours on end. Just frequently. Following a low fiber/fat diet for a few days to a week before hand as well as following EXACTLY with only clear liquids when your doctor suggests will definitely help keep the cramping and burning to a minimum. I wouldn’t say it is easy, but compared to what someone with IBS or IBD deals with during a flare up, it really isn’t that bad, the worst part is it takes a lot out of you…

I think my nerves started to hit me last night, creating another really cruddy few hours of non sleep, that plus the start of shark week. It wouldn’t be the first time that abdominal cramping/action has set off uterine nonsense, I’m just hoping it’s not going to be a problem later today. Of course it’s a problem right now for me since it usually spikes my anxiety something fierce and all my coping mechanisms are off the table (healthy or not) like say keeping hydrated, or grabbing a cup of coffee… GOD I WANT A FUCKING CUP OF COFFEE RIGHT NOW!!!!

Right now my only hope is getting to the hospital in one piece and not ripping Mr. Mango to shreds before we get there…(poor guy putting up with an uncaffinated, tired, cranky, hangry, PMSy me) though if he makes one more joke about another guy being able to stick it in that hole, I think he might deserve it. The staff are already aware of my other conditions including the mental ones and that while usually I have pretty good control, anxiety is a strange thing and can come and go as it pleases and this is a new experience. I’ve been guaranteed two types of sedatives throughout along with IV fluids from the time I arrive (fluids themselves should help as well, even by this time of day I’ve usually chugged back a few big cups of water).

While I don’t anticipate any accidents, it’s slowed down in that department, especially from the ‘urgent’ aspect, it is a long trip with no possible pit stops (unless you count the side of the highway). The last question is, to Depend or not Depend?

Step one: Eat all the red and purple candy…

Step Two: White Fluffy Goodness

Step Three: laxatives and getting ready for liquids…

Step Four: down the hatch and now we wait…

You’re on Step Five!

Step %#@*&: the horror…. (read at your own risk, I hope in the future to be able to update with a better end result)

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7 thoughts on “Step Five: the final step, get my butt to the hospital!

  1. Better safe than sorry is my motto 😉

    I bring a thermos of coffee with me because that’s all I want when I wake up. Some people want food, but me? Gimme the effin’ coffee!

    Good luck today!

    Liked by 1 person

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