Life · Uncategorized

Stuck in bed

No, I did not have the stomach flu, food poisoning, a tension headache or a hangover. I was STUCK…IN…BED.

As in I could not get up. I don’t know if my hip was locked or if I simply lost all muscle control over it (it wasn’t numb that’s for sure, it’s throbbing in pain). My arms were pulling their usual morning vasculitis nerve pain and tingling just worse than ever before. When they do this they’re about as useful as trying to use cooked spaghetti as chopsticks. I couldn’t move my lower body and my upper body was useless. I was stranded in a sea of blankets and pillows while the sun beamed in through my window for what seemed like forever.

A little extra shut eye or down time sounds nice doesn’t it? Except for when you don’t want it, don’t need it or , ya know, are physically incapable of anything else and you HAVE TO GET UP. Still, you can’t. You’re stuck. You’re helpless. You’re alone. Not so nice. huh?

I am lucky that nothing emergent happened. Little Dude had a night time accident that I wouldn’t have been able to prevent even if I had been Super Girl. All 3 tiny ones were getting antsy for breakfast and to start the day and by the end were at each others throats arguing about what exactly was going on. I chose to leave them in the dark (but like I said, it was already gearing far too close to midday to convince them it was still too early to wake up). The last thing I need is for them to fear that Mommy won’t get up/wake up. That’s a possible reality that just shouldn’t sink in for a 9,6 and 3 year old.

So I laid there. In pain and motionless, apart from occasional attempts to see if shit had started working again. I worried. Is this what I have to look forward to? Am I going to have more mornings or days when even the most basic of tasks is too much? What if something had happened to the kids that required immediate attention? What if next time I’m stuck like that for twice as long? Or more? What about when school starts in a couple weeks?

FML…. with a big F. I’m not really angry, just worried. Really really worried.

This time, I guess I can consider myself lucky. After long enough I was able to wiggle my hips and spine out of whatever funk they were stuck in and managed to sit up, then stand up and stretch. Two hours later now while still in a great deal of pain and still with much less mobility, you’d never guess how bad it was just before.

What about next time?

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3 thoughts on “Stuck in bed

  1. 😩 That’s a scary way to start a day. Yes, it might happen again, but in the words of the great and smelly manchild, “don’t let your brain get ahead of you”, which is to say take it a day at a time (sometimes a moment at a time when shit gets real).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think the unexpected part is the worst for someone like myself. I’m a planner and I planned to be able to get my ass out of bed 😛 It could be too that I’m rip roaring pissed with the man of the house and the thought of wishing he was home for another morning….ugh! For now, moment to moment seems like a pretty decent option. Sometimes (rarely) the men folk have a moment of smarts they have to offer eh?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m the same way! I expect doing certain activities will lead to certain symptoms and plan accordingly – meticulously so. However when the universe gives me a random, unearned “bad” day, it throws me for a loop.

        Like

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