Life · Uncategorized

I’d rather feel young and be old.

Today is one of Mr. Mango’s work buddy’s birthday and the two of them have been joking around about “UGH the mid 30’s!” Like the ominous BEING OLD is now upon them. I couldn’t help but think to myself “Man, you don’t know how lucky you are to still be young and healthy!”

Even as a kid I always wondered why age was such a big flippin’ deal to so many adults. Between wanting stay 21 forever or hitting mid life crisis in their 40’s or sinking into a void of boredom at retirement age. I didn’t get it, why was getting old so bad?

I guess I always assumed it was knowing the sands of time were falling away and realistically every morning you wake up you’re closer and closer to being completely out. I can understand that, since my anxiety disorder and panic attacks stem from the uncontrollable (and inevitable) unknowns, like death. Getting closer to that and thinking about it? Yea I understand freaking out a bit.

But that doesn’t really seem to be it.

I think for people who are over all healthy, active and feel alive getting older means they’re running out of FEELING YOUNG.

What I wouldn’t give to be in my mid 30’s and planning a marathon this summer, or to climb the Matterhorn in my 40’s, or finally train enough to enter the RKC’s Iron Maiden in my 50’s, go on a couples adventure cruise in my 60’s….. it could go on.

Instead I’m in my late 20’s and already having to treat my body like I’m down right elderly some days.

I’d rather FEEL young and be old, than BE young and feel old.

Garth says it best. “I’m much too young to feel this damn old.”

 

**Note, I don’t particularly think Garth here is singing about being young and chronically ill (though it sometimes feels like we’re stuck in the rodeo), but it’s a beautiful song and at the very least the chorus sure rings true.**

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