Well, I’m still alive.
Alive, but I wouldn’t exactly say I’m “living” at the moment.
This weekend was INSANE. It was hectic, emotional, wonderful and horrible all in a mish-mosh of events. Honestly I still kind of can’t believe it happened and I made it through.
The wedding itself was beautiful. Small and intimate and very family oriented. As a pastors daughter I’ve experienced my fair share of weddings over the years and this definitely ranks in my top 3 for sincerity, beauty and simplicity. It also happened to be the first wedding that Mr. Mango and I have both been to together where neither of us was busy in the wedding partner and got to sit together. That made it kind of special too.
I would love to say we were able to stay in a romance fog for the rest of Saturday but it really started getting a little harder to literally sit through it all after that point. The supper was great and the reception was entertaining but it took quite the mix of medication, a couple cocktails and a lot of fake smiles to cover up everything that was going on under the surface.
By Sunday morning the pain was almost unbearable, we thought at this point it would end with a hospital trip. To be honest I don’t even remember exactly how we managed to pick up the kids and make it home from the city.
I over did it. The really sad thing is I over did it while not actually doing much at all. It really makes me angry and upset that even on what I would consider a ‘good’ day doing something normal still ends up being way too much.
Do I regret it? No…. Not only were the good parts, really good but it really was a learning experience. I am ill and there really is no pretending to be fine when I need to anymore. I have to modify and I have to pay more attention to what my body needs so I don’t end up completely out of commission.
Today was spent resting and recovering more. My stomach is now able to handle some bone broth so it’s been a little nicer not feeling nauseous and starving at the same time. I suspect the rest of this week is going to continue to be difficult but as long as each day is looking better I have to at least try and stay positive.
I am hoping that as more time passes I’ll forget the bad and have some great memories of the good. After all as reality sets in, good memories, videos and pictures are going to be even more important to have through rough days and difficult times.