When I have to brave the frozen outdoors in my crocs and house coat to grab the extra milk from the garage fridge.
When the coffee machine didn’t turn on and I have to wait for that much needed first taste of java.
When from the second he gets up Little Dude is spewing over and down my shoulder and the only thing I can do is hold him close and comfort him.
When I have to teach my 2 1/2 year old how to lean over the toilet bowl, while stripping off my warm comfy clothes from head to toe, while barking orders at the other two to try and get ready without fighting.
When I finally get to sit down with my morning coffee and think to myself “Dammit we’re all going down with the flu next.”
Today is definitely not off to a great start. The funny thing is none of this has to do with being chronically ill. Sometimes the small issues that arise, the little home stressors, the difficulties of parenting 3 little ‘joys’ under 10 have nothing to with being sick, in pain or fatigued.
Maybe it makes some parts a little tougher to manage, but really all of that would have been a really crappy start to a day even in the best of health.
Sometimes the hardest parts of the day will still be from ‘normal’ life.
I know that the fact that I had to go outside and didn’t wear mits means that my hands are probably going to act up more. That because sitting on my knees with Little Dude by the potty for so long, I will be feeling it in my legs and hips later. That because of my illness, if I go down with the flu I’m probably going to hit rock bottom again and end up in another flare.
Even still, that has nothing to do with how this morning started. You could say it started off completely normal, having nothing to do with lupus, nerve pain, vasculitis, IBS, depression etc….
This just is motherhood. In a dark and twisted way, the horrible start to the day makes me happy. It makes me feel like I still experience ‘normal’ life from time to time. There will still be things both good and bad that have nothing to do with being chronically ill.
Now to finally enjoy my coffee, some cuddles with Little Dude ( fingers crossed his stomach is settled) and something Disney. All positively normal things too. It won’t last of course, I know it’ll be a hard day, but I’ll take what I can get!