Life · Uncategorized

The Bells are Back!

Both the ringing in my ears and the swinging in my hands.

While sometimes I, and I’m assuming many other chronic illness sufferers, find it hard to see the bright side each day. On other days concentrating on something good is one of the best ways to distract myself from the bad parts of the day.

While the ringing/humming in my ears (tinnitus) is growing more frequent and annoying, it is pretty well harmless, unless of course I’m trying to listen to someone ask something, or tell me something, or get my attention. For a good 30-90 seconds I’m pretty much unable to hear anything else until it starts to fade away. Compared to the other random mix of symptoms, it seems rather harmless. None the less, it’s what I spent most of my morning trying to ignore.

While the mental fog is was turning me into a rambling loonie, literally stumbling over almost every sentence, forgetting why I started talking in the first place, my physical fatigue really let up today. The NSAIDS worked enough that the pain was manageable and while my grip still suffers my hands were not shaky or in pain so I FINALLY was able to enjoy one of my favorite forms of exercise during the kids quiet time.

I found kettle bells training a couple years ago when bad knees, strangely sore feet and a new sensation in my hip/back started to keep me from being able to do high impact cardio on a regular basis. I wanted a workout that still kicked ass, burned calories, made me feel like a strong woman DOES’NT suffer from anxiety attacks or bouts of depression, but still kept my feet planted on the ground.

I never ever expected that throwing around a big hunk of iron my living room would be so life changing. It was such a great relief of stress and was part of why I was able to stay prescription medication free for my first long cold Canadian winter in a long time.

As well, it was great for strength. The muscle I’ve gained has helped my knees drastically improve as well as strengthened the muscles in my lower back, abdominals and glutes so that even though my SI still causes daily pain, I can still get up and sit down, hold my child with me and go for walks on good days. My physiotherapist agrees that gaining strength over the last couple years will have a great impact on my muscles and joints in the future, even if now I cannot train like I used to.

The last few months have been hard putting them away to gather dust most of the time. Not only am I not working on my over all strength on a regular basis but it really is effecting my morale. Flare ups and new symptoms are stressful, so is just regular life with family, friends, finances etc. Now my favorite and most effective method of relieving stress is something I can’t do very often.

It is hard, and one of the reasons that my doctor and I have talked about re-introducing meds to help with the mental downward spiral. I know better than to refuse like before.

It also makes it special. When ‘the stars align’ and it’s a good day physically, I am excited. I get to play with my old friends and oh how much fun we had.

Not only did it help with some of the leftover stiffness but I just really felt good after. Like I had a handle on life and like I could think more clearly. Which for anyone who suffers from metal fog can be a real break.

While now it is the evening and the workout high is long over and the full body fatigue is kicking it up a notch like usual I am still able to enjoy the fact that I was able to use my kettle bells today and how much I enjoyed it.

Anyone else have a special hobby they look forward to on those sometimes rare good days?


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